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Mushy — Roll Tide on the

BACK OF THE BOAT — DAMMIT MUSHY! [Hook] I’m in the back of the boat, Marlboros in my shirt, Cold Bud Lights in the ice, let me go to work. Alabama on my hat, Roll Tide on my tongue, If anything goes wrong, they already know the one. DAMMIT MUSHY! Yeah, they holler my name. No facts, no proof, still I’m taking the blame. DAMMIT MUSHY! Every Thursday, same discussion. Whole crew needs a reason—better blame it on Mushy. [Verse 1] I step on the Crooked Hooker, take my regular seat, Matt’s looking at the map; I got instinct in my feet. He points toward the left, I tell him right is where they’re at. Ten minutes down the lake, he says we’re on the wrong track. I ain’t wrong, I’m exploring. That’s a different operation. Burning fuel ain’t waste—it’s aquatic navigation. He says, “This ain’t the bank.” I take a drag and sip my drink: “They ought to be here, Matt. Them fish just overthink.” I’m crimson from the lid down, Alabama till I’m gone. I’ll yell Roll Tide on a Tuesday with no football going on. They say I talk too much. I say the lake enjoys the lesson. Every largemouth in Tennessee now knows our starting seven. I don’t need a front seat. Back here, I’m the boss. If the boat goes the wrong way, that sounds like driver loss. But everybody turns around whenever something gets funny. I ain’t done a thing yet— DAMMIT MUSHY! [Hook] I’m in the back of the boat, Marlboros in my shirt, Cold Bud Lights in the ice, let me go to work. Alabama on my hat, Roll Tide on my tongue, If anything goes wrong, they already know the one. DAMMIT MUSHY! Yeah, they holler my name. No facts, no proof, still I’m taking the blame. DAMMIT MUSHY! Every Thursday, same discussion. Whole crew needs a reason—better blame it on Mushy. [Verse 2] Matt creeps toward a waypoint like it’s buried treasure, Says, “Don’t nobody cast until I line the boat up better.” I throw mine right across it. Perfect distance, perfect splash. He looks back like I set his retirement plans on fire. I call it fish research. He calls the whole spot burned. If they left when my lure hit, that’s a lesson that we learned. Then somebody sets a hook; that rod starts bending ugly. They holler, “Grab the net!” Who do they call? Mushy. I reach behind the cooler, net gets caught beneath a chair. By the time I get it loose, that fish is swimming elsewhere. They claim I cost a giant. I say, “Look at that weak knot.” If I never touched the line, then it ain’t my fish I lost. I crack a Bud Light open; everybody starts to stare. Apparently it’s next-to-last. I didn’t put the count in there. If beverages are missing, check the people in the front. Still they look into the back— DAMMIT MUSHY! [Bridge] Wrong bank—wasn’t me. Burned spot—disagree. Missed net—bad design. Bud Light—thought it’s mine. “CAT, CAT!”—saw it clear. Blue marble—was right here. No evidence, no facts, Still they’re pointing to the back. DAMMIT MUSHY! DAMMIT MUSHY! If the whole trip gets ugly, Better blame it on Mushy! [Verse 3] Night falls on the water, now the bite is getting slow. I see eyes beside the shoreline, something moving down below. I jump up yelling, “CAT, CAT!” They say it’s just a stump. I know a cat when I see one. That stump got up and jumped. Reach inside my pocket, now my blue marble’s gone. I had that thing at daylight; somebody did me wrong. They say, “Mushy lost his marble.” Everybody thinks it’s funny. I’m the victim of a theft— DAMMIT MUSHY! Last cast, I sling it toward a dark patch in the grass. Line jumps, rod loads, something big begins to thrash. I keep it from the motor, bring it right beside the rail, Swing a heavy largemouth in and grab it by the jaw. Now the whole boat gets quiet. Ain’t nobody talking trash. I hold that fish up high beside my Alabama hat. They ask me for the pattern. I just smile and keep it classified: “They ought to be here, boys. I’ve told you the whole damn night.” [Final Hook] I’m in the back of the boat, Marlboros in my shirt, Cold Bud Lights for the ramp after everybody works. Alabama on my hat, Roll Tide on my tongue, They blame me for it all—but I caught the biggest one. DAMMIT MUSHY! Put respect on the name. No facts, no proof, still I carried the blame. DAMMIT MUSHY! Crooked Hooker stays jumping. It wouldn’t be a crew without DAMMIT MUSHY! Wrong bank, lost marble, let the whole lake judge me. Big fish in my hand—now who’s laughing at Mushy? Roll Tide, line tight, tell the crew I’m still coming— Back-seat legend! DAMMIT MUSHY!